8/16/2009

Mabuhay ang Kalalakihan

Mabuhay ang Kalalakihan

Gusto ko lamang i-aplay yung natutunan ko sa English 101, Developing a paragraph by example. Pero Asa!!! Di ito paragraph. Marahil kutyain mo ako sa mga mababasa mo, pero site ko ito. Opinyon lamang sila. Pero may ebidensya. Ito na siguro ang isa sa mga less sensible sa mga blogs ko
Ang mga sumusunod ay mga naguugnay at nagbibigay uri sa apat na kasarian ng sangkatauhan. Lalake, babae, bakla, at tomboy. Asaan na sila ngayon? Diskleymer, Hindi ako sexist! Marahil maging isa ako sa kanila pero gusto ko lang ipakita ang mundo natin ngayon. Mundo natin na hindi na napagtutuunan ng pansin – minsan.

Lalake:

1.Papa Jesus (astig ang banat)
2.Santo Papa (Ayan pa!)
3.Superb na Imbentor - Newton, Nobel, Leeuwenhoek, Perry, Faraday, Fleming, etc.
4.Magaling na Pinuno – Lalake ang lahat ng naging president ng Amerika
5.Magaling na Piloto – Wright Bros.
6.Magaling gumawa ng Films – Warner Bros., Steven Spielberg (tsubibo ko lang ang una.)
7.Matalinong Propesor – Morris Schwartz (Yung Morrie sa Tuesdays with Morrie)
8.Author – C.S. Lewis, JRR Tolkien, HG Wells, Chaucer, Shakespeare, O Henry etc.
9.Bayani – Jose, Boni, at Shaw (Biro lang yung huli)
10.Astig na Banda – (Simple Plan, Bamboo, at Linkin Park)
11.Engineer na, Architect pa – Gustave Eiffel
12.Astronaut – Armstrong, Hubble, Gagarin etc.
13.Scientist – Boyle, Tyndall, Einstein
14.Thinker – Darwin, Feud, Marx, Jung, Tung
15.Magaling na Doktor – Hayden Kho :-)
16.Writer – Bob Ong, Eros Atalia, Ricky Lee eyc
17.Business Tycoon – Sy, Robinson, Nepomuceno, Ayala, Gozon, Lopez etc.
18.Sportsman – Phelps, Pacquiao, Reyes, Nepomuceno, Woods, Davis
19.Sundalo – Dewey, Taft, Versoza, Lomibao etc.
20.Driver  - Tricycle, jeepney, bus,
21.Kapitan - ship, airplane
22.Photographers
23.Painter – Picasso, Gogh, da Vinci
24.Sculptor - Michelangelo, Raphael
25.Religious Leader – Velarde, Villanueva, at Orbito
26.Composer – Mozart, Debussy, Alcasid
27.Pakana ng kompyuter  at pinakamayamang tao – Gates
28.Tagapagmana ng $ 2.1 Billion sa edad na labingwalo - Albert von Thurn und Taxis
29.Masayahin (Humorist) – Chaplin, Bob Hope
30.Magaling na Hosts – Larry King, TVJ
31.Philosopher – Aristotle, Plato
32.Magnanakaw – Robin Hood, at ang mga naunungkit sa kapitbahay para pang-drugs
33.Imbentor at top user ng drugs
34.Hari at prinsipe (di naman obvious)
35.Sinungaling – Mga Trapo sa TV ngayon
36.May pagka-tsismoso – Mo Twister, Raymond Guttierrez, Anjo Yllana, Joey De Leon
37.Bastos – Willie Revilame
38.Sabungero, karerarero,  babaero, at tanggero
39.Suki sa pelikula ng Seiko Films (Scorpio Nights)
40.  Magaling sa Ispeling (Webster)

Babae :

1.Principal at Titser
2.Nars at taga-pagpaanak, Manghihilot
3.Mambabarang
4.Magaling maglaba at magpalantsa
5.Magaling humawak ng mic. (Magaling kumanta) – Regine, Jaya, Pops
6.Best Actress –
7.Magaling sa uhmmm – KC, Angel, Katrina, Maricar
8.Cover ng mga magazine – Marian, Cristine, Iwa, Maui, Aubrey
9.Masarap magluto
10.Mathematician din – kakaunti pero.
11.Magaling mag-imagine ng di totoo – Rowling, Meyer
12Pauso sa mga siyesta, Madyongera
13. Certified Bungangera
14.Endorser ng napkin – Sarah, Kim, Donita
15.Magaling at seksing  VJ – Sanya,
16.Reader ng Precious Hearts Romance at Subscriber ng Fanatext
17.Bumibili ng HP at Twilight Saga pang-display
18.Ekonomista – Arroyo, Condoleezza Rice, W. Monsod
19.Endorser ng sabong panlaba – Susan Roces
20.Magaling buminggo – Kris Aquino
21.Intrigera – Lolit Solis, Cristy Fermin, Ruffa Guttierrez
22.Simbolo ng Demokrasya – Cory Aquino
23.Simbolo ng Kabaitan – Mother Theresa

Bading:

1.Organizer ng Bikini Open, Beauty Pageant, at Mister Pogi
2.Director – (Mubi at concert) – Joel Lamangan, Joey Reyes, Louie Ignacio, Danny Tan
3.Magaling magpaganda, (Parlorista) – Ricky Reyes, Fanny Serrano
4.Mananahi – Rajo Laurel, Pepsi Herrera, Edwin Tan, Renee Salud
5.Costume Designers
6.Masakit sa tenga ang boses – John Lapus, Boy Abunda, Jobert Sulcadito
7.Suki sa Malate, Parokyano sa Avenida at Baclaran, at tambay sa Recto.
8.Masipag mag-add ng gwaping, at nagpo-post ng mga litratong naka-underwear sa multiply
9.Mahilig sa chupa chups (lollipop)


Tomboy:

1.Maporma, may wheels, at suki ng baby bra with supporter pa.
2.Walang social networking sites
3.Laman ng gym.
4.Merong super duper hot and sexy girlfriend.
5.End of the list.

Paano na lang ang buhay kung wala ang mga talong? Bwahahaha. Just for fun. To react is guilty to laugh sets you free.



Adapted by:
Caloy Hernandez for Multiply.com
Some rights reserved: 16 Aug 2009



27 comments:

  1. awww! para naman minaliit mo kaming mga babae...
    pero sige..since site mo to hanggang comment lang ako..

    = )

    ReplyDelete
  2. natawa naman ako sa magaling na doktor mo.. haha
    cool! almost lahat lalake.. oo nalang ako.. haha :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Di ba dapat number one samin si Mama Mary? Kung wala siya, wala yang Papa Jesus mo! Panis! Nyahaha :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Si Mama Mary, ang feeder ni Papa Jesus.

    Kung halimbawa iniligtas ka ng isang tao mula sa kapahamakan sino ang pasasalamatan mo? Yung nanay niya o yung nagligtas sa iyo? ***Panis.:P

    ReplyDelete
  5. haha.point taken.
    Pero walang magliligtas kung wala yung ina. Haha.

    At sa hosts? Oi, si Tyra Banks. Hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sarry pare, hindi ko siya kilala.:P Wahaha

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sarry pare, hindi ko siya kilala.:P Wahaha

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Magaling sa uhmmm – KC, Angel, Katrina, Maricar"

    ano yan??????hahahhaha

    ReplyDelete
  9. nyak. supermodel.tas yung show niya women empowerment. haha kaya yun!

    :))

    ReplyDelete
  10. As requested by Carl..

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  11. Napanood mo na ba? Iyan ang magaganda sa mga artista! Educational ang mga kamunduhan nila.:-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hahaha. Ayan e di tumawa ka na!


    Tatawa din ako: Hahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :-) Adik lang.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Haha. Di ko trip kasi manood ng mga ganyan. :-)

    Si Oprah nga di ko kilala kung hindi ko pa nabasa sa libro:-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. hahah educational???waaaahhhhh....

    ReplyDelete
  15. uhmm..wlang pinapanigan..pamagat plang ..harhar...
    well d kita masisisi,kase site mo ito at pangalawa,lalake ka nga kaya xempre mas madami kang makikitang positibo sa mga lalake..;)..;)..;)..pissSs,,.,.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Gusto mo mag-revenge? Dagdagan mo.:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. lalake...
    diktador-Ferdinand MARCos
    indjanero-sta.claus(harhar)
    mukhang pera-mr.crAbs(ung sa spongebOb)
    basagulero-totoybato..(hula lng)
    terorista-hitler
    demon-luciper
    sipulturero-

    babae..
    magaling na nanay-momy junicia..hARhArHAr..;)
    scientist-marie curie,Cannon, Annie Jump
    national artist-lucresia kasilag
    mapagmahal sa pamilya-sisa
    palaban-ako....nyAhAhAH(wlang kokontra);)
    beauty queen-(mAlamang)


    wla na akon g maisip iy..hArhAr..;) piSSsSsSss..;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. There's no such thing as "gender." Seriously!

    That is merely a societal invention.

    If we are to classify based on reproductive ability, then there are two: Male and Female.

    If we are to classify based on function and ability then there is only one. That is, being a human.

    If we are to classify based on sexual preference or sex partners...then all males are gays and all females are gays too and vice-versa. Human sexuality is a by-product of choice, culture, biological urges and convenience and cannot be limited only to four classes.

    Recheck your data please, most of the people you enumerated in your "lalake classification" are to be reposted as well in the "bakla" section based on their own sexual preferences and sexual activities...

    Hence, gender is another presumption...simply meant to divide people and not to understand them.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Had we not invented these concepts of what is "bakla" "tomboy" whatever...they wouldn't even exist to begin with.

    Retrace culture back to the ancients. There were no distinction of such things. Humans simply fucked around with whomever they please.

    And that's totally fine. It is the divisioning and all other nugatory societal inventions (alleged moral precepts) that made man so miserable and prejudicial instead of understanding and encompassing.

    ReplyDelete
  20. There's no true "gender" by whatever means we would classify things.

    Culture invented the classification...and culture is merely artificial and never the absolute nor the true means of understanding reality.

    From the level of energy, all these concepts are nonesense and a total waste of time. It limits man's enjoyment and understanding of things altogether.

    And the people who tried classifying...were unclassifiable themselves and wavered between all abovenamed four classes. So let's not be hypocrites about it.

    Before we teach these concepts, we must experience it first and prove/disprove the same to our selves, firsthand, before we pass the information and accept anything at all as truth or calculable data worthy of referencing/reliability or as a precursor to our next action.

    ReplyDelete

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