Mabuhay ang Kalalakihan
Gusto ko lamang i-aplay yung natutunan ko sa English 101, Developing a paragraph by example. Pero Asa!!! Di ito paragraph. Marahil kutyain mo ako sa mga mababasa mo, pero site ko ito. Opinyon lamang sila. Pero may ebidensya. Ito na siguro ang isa sa mga less sensible sa mga blogs ko
Ang mga sumusunod ay mga naguugnay at nagbibigay uri sa apat na kasarian ng sangkatauhan. Lalake, babae, bakla, at tomboy. Asaan na sila ngayon? Diskleymer, Hindi ako sexist! Marahil maging isa ako sa kanila pero gusto ko lang ipakita ang mundo natin ngayon. Mundo natin na hindi na napagtutuunan ng pansin – minsan.
Lalake:
1.Papa Jesus (astig ang banat)
2.Santo Papa (Ayan pa!)
3.Superb na Imbentor - Newton, Nobel, Leeuwenhoek, Perry, Faraday, Fleming, etc.
4.Magaling na Pinuno – Lalake ang lahat ng naging president ng Amerika
5.Magaling na Piloto – Wright Bros.
6.Magaling gumawa ng Films – Warner Bros., Steven Spielberg (tsubibo ko lang ang una.)
7.Matalinong Propesor – Morris Schwartz (Yung Morrie sa Tuesdays with Morrie)
8.Author – C.S. Lewis, JRR Tolkien, HG Wells, Chaucer, Shakespeare, O Henry etc.
9.Bayani – Jose, Boni, at Shaw (Biro lang yung huli)
10.Astig na Banda – (Simple Plan, Bamboo, at Linkin Park)
11.Engineer na, Architect pa – Gustave Eiffel
12.Astronaut – Armstrong, Hubble, Gagarin etc.
13.Scientist – Boyle, Tyndall, Einstein
14.Thinker – Darwin, Feud, Marx, Jung, Tung
15.Magaling na Doktor – Hayden Kho :-)
16.Writer – Bob Ong, Eros Atalia, Ricky Lee eyc
17.Business Tycoon – Sy, Robinson, Nepomuceno, Ayala, Gozon, Lopez etc.
18.Sportsman – Phelps, Pacquiao, Reyes, Nepomuceno, Woods, Davis
19.Sundalo – Dewey, Taft, Versoza, Lomibao etc.
20.Driver - Tricycle, jeepney, bus,
21.Kapitan - ship, airplane
22.Photographers
23.Painter – Picasso, Gogh, da Vinci
24.Sculptor - Michelangelo, Raphael
25.Religious Leader – Velarde, Villanueva, at Orbito
26.Composer – Mozart, Debussy, Alcasid
27.Pakana ng kompyuter at pinakamayamang tao – Gates
28.Tagapagmana ng $ 2.1 Billion sa edad na labingwalo - Albert von Thurn und Taxis
29.Masayahin (Humorist) – Chaplin, Bob Hope
30.Magaling na Hosts – Larry King, TVJ
31.Philosopher – Aristotle, Plato
32.Magnanakaw – Robin Hood, at ang mga naunungkit sa kapitbahay para pang-drugs
33.Imbentor at top user ng drugs
34.Hari at prinsipe (di naman obvious)
35.Sinungaling – Mga Trapo sa TV ngayon
36.May pagka-tsismoso – Mo Twister, Raymond Guttierrez, Anjo Yllana, Joey De Leon
37.Bastos – Willie Revilame
38.Sabungero, karerarero, babaero, at tanggero
39.Suki sa pelikula ng Seiko Films (Scorpio Nights)
40. Magaling sa Ispeling (Webster)
Babae :
1.Principal at Titser
2.Nars at taga-pagpaanak, Manghihilot
3.Mambabarang
4.Magaling maglaba at magpalantsa
5.Magaling humawak ng mic. (Magaling kumanta) – Regine, Jaya, Pops
6.Best Actress –
7.Magaling sa uhmmm – KC, Angel, Katrina, Maricar
8.Cover ng mga magazine – Marian, Cristine, Iwa, Maui, Aubrey
9.Masarap magluto
10.Mathematician din – kakaunti pero.
11.Magaling mag-imagine ng di totoo – Rowling, Meyer
12Pauso sa mga siyesta, Madyongera
13. Certified Bungangera
14.Endorser ng napkin – Sarah, Kim, Donita
15.Magaling at seksing VJ – Sanya,
16.Reader ng Precious Hearts Romance at Subscriber ng Fanatext
17.Bumibili ng HP at Twilight Saga pang-display
18.Ekonomista – Arroyo, Condoleezza Rice, W. Monsod
19.Endorser ng sabong panlaba – Susan Roces
20.Magaling buminggo – Kris Aquino
21.Intrigera – Lolit Solis, Cristy Fermin, Ruffa Guttierrez
22.Simbolo ng Demokrasya – Cory Aquino
23.Simbolo ng Kabaitan – Mother Theresa
Bading:
1.Organizer ng Bikini Open, Beauty Pageant, at Mister Pogi
2.Director – (Mubi at concert) – Joel Lamangan, Joey Reyes, Louie Ignacio, Danny Tan
3.Magaling magpaganda, (Parlorista) – Ricky Reyes, Fanny Serrano
4.Mananahi – Rajo Laurel, Pepsi Herrera, Edwin Tan, Renee Salud
5.Costume Designers
6.Masakit sa tenga ang boses – John Lapus, Boy Abunda, Jobert Sulcadito
7.Suki sa Malate, Parokyano sa Avenida at Baclaran, at tambay sa Recto.
8.Masipag mag-add ng gwaping, at nagpo-post ng mga litratong naka-underwear sa multiply
9.Mahilig sa chupa chups (lollipop)
Tomboy:
1.Maporma, may wheels, at suki ng baby bra with supporter pa.
2.Walang social networking sites
3.Laman ng gym.
4.Merong super duper hot and sexy girlfriend.
5.End of the list.
Paano na lang ang buhay kung wala ang mga talong? Bwahahaha. Just for fun. To react is guilty to laugh sets you free.
Adapted by:
Caloy Hernandez for Multiply.com
Some rights reserved: 16 Aug 2009
di naman lalaki si luwalhati bautista
ReplyDeleteawww! para naman minaliit mo kaming mga babae...
ReplyDeletepero sige..since site mo to hanggang comment lang ako..
= )
Pwede kang magdagdag.:-)
ReplyDeletenatawa naman ako sa magaling na doktor mo.. haha
ReplyDeletecool! almost lahat lalake.. oo nalang ako.. haha :D
Wala na ako maisip eh.:-)
ReplyDeleteDi ba dapat number one samin si Mama Mary? Kung wala siya, wala yang Papa Jesus mo! Panis! Nyahaha :P
ReplyDeleteSi Mama Mary, ang feeder ni Papa Jesus.
ReplyDeleteKung halimbawa iniligtas ka ng isang tao mula sa kapahamakan sino ang pasasalamatan mo? Yung nanay niya o yung nagligtas sa iyo? ***Panis.:P
haha.point taken.
ReplyDeletePero walang magliligtas kung wala yung ina. Haha.
At sa hosts? Oi, si Tyra Banks. Hahaha
Sarry pare, hindi ko siya kilala.:P Wahaha
ReplyDeleteSarry pare, hindi ko siya kilala.:P Wahaha
ReplyDelete"Magaling sa uhmmm – KC, Angel, Katrina, Maricar"
ReplyDeleteano yan??????hahahhaha
nyak. supermodel.tas yung show niya women empowerment. haha kaya yun!
ReplyDelete:))
As requested by Carl..
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
harharhar.....
ReplyDeletelalake ka nga...;)
mga lalaki talaga. tsk. haha.! =]
ReplyDeletebakit naman??
ReplyDeleteNapanood mo na ba? Iyan ang magaganda sa mga artista! Educational ang mga kamunduhan nila.:-)
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Ayan e di tumawa ka na!
ReplyDeleteTatawa din ako: Hahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :-) Adik lang.
Haha. Di ko trip kasi manood ng mga ganyan. :-)
ReplyDeleteSi Oprah nga di ko kilala kung hindi ko pa nabasa sa libro:-)
yah!!
ReplyDeletehahah educational???waaaahhhhh....
ReplyDeleteuhmm..wlang pinapanigan..pamagat plang ..harhar...
ReplyDeletewell d kita masisisi,kase site mo ito at pangalawa,lalake ka nga kaya xempre mas madami kang makikitang positibo sa mga lalake..;)..;)..;)..pissSs,,.,.
Gusto mo mag-revenge? Dagdagan mo.:)
ReplyDeletelalake...
ReplyDeletediktador-Ferdinand MARCos
indjanero-sta.claus(harhar)
mukhang pera-mr.crAbs(ung sa spongebOb)
basagulero-totoybato..(hula lng)
terorista-hitler
demon-luciper
sipulturero-
babae..
magaling na nanay-momy junicia..hARhArHAr..;)
scientist-marie curie,Cannon, Annie Jump
national artist-lucresia kasilag
mapagmahal sa pamilya-sisa
palaban-ako....nyAhAhAH(wlang kokontra);)
beauty queen-(mAlamang)
wla na akon g maisip iy..hArhAr..;) piSSsSsSss..;)
There's no such thing as "gender." Seriously!
ReplyDeleteThat is merely a societal invention.
If we are to classify based on reproductive ability, then there are two: Male and Female.
If we are to classify based on function and ability then there is only one. That is, being a human.
If we are to classify based on sexual preference or sex partners...then all males are gays and all females are gays too and vice-versa. Human sexuality is a by-product of choice, culture, biological urges and convenience and cannot be limited only to four classes.
Recheck your data please, most of the people you enumerated in your "lalake classification" are to be reposted as well in the "bakla" section based on their own sexual preferences and sexual activities...
Hence, gender is another presumption...simply meant to divide people and not to understand them.
Had we not invented these concepts of what is "bakla" "tomboy" whatever...they wouldn't even exist to begin with.
ReplyDeleteRetrace culture back to the ancients. There were no distinction of such things. Humans simply fucked around with whomever they please.
And that's totally fine. It is the divisioning and all other nugatory societal inventions (alleged moral precepts) that made man so miserable and prejudicial instead of understanding and encompassing.
There's no true "gender" by whatever means we would classify things.
ReplyDeleteCulture invented the classification...and culture is merely artificial and never the absolute nor the true means of understanding reality.
From the level of energy, all these concepts are nonesense and a total waste of time. It limits man's enjoyment and understanding of things altogether.
And the people who tried classifying...were unclassifiable themselves and wavered between all abovenamed four classes. So let's not be hypocrites about it.
Before we teach these concepts, we must experience it first and prove/disprove the same to our selves, firsthand, before we pass the information and accept anything at all as truth or calculable data worthy of referencing/reliability or as a precursor to our next action.