Failed Excuse Letters

This is a collection of genuine excuse letters gathered through the web. These are e-mails, real excuse letters sent by parents, including original spelling and grammatical errors which was collected by schools throughout the Philippines. Read and learn from their mistakes. This is a hilarious way to learn. Brace yourselves and laugh out loud.

1. “My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.”
(O bahala na ang teacher kung paano siya ie-execute. Silya elektrika o firing squad?)

2. “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.”
(Kaya hindi dapat naglalaro ng counter-strike ang matatanda.)

3. “Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.”
(Makaimbento nga ng kalendaryong may 33 days.)

4. “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.”
(Ano daw???? I can’t get it. )

5.”Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”
(Tulungan natin sila, Hanapin natin!)

6. “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.”
(Galing! Nasa mukha niya ang gilagid.)

7. “Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.”
(Baka varicose veins ‘yan? Huwag kasi dapat lumalapit kahit kanino eh.)

8. “Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.”
(Ayos ah, may measurement ang side.)

9. “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.”
(Aaah, eee, iii, ooo, uuu,)

10. “Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.”
(LBM na nga lang eh. Mas madali pa.)

11.” Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.”
(Never knew na detachable na pala ang dibdib.)

12.” I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I dont know what size she wear.”
(Paano siya magsho-shopping kung iniwan mo siya sa bahay?)

13.” Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.”
(Mabuhay ang Patay! Long-live the dead.)

14. “Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.”
(Ano ba siya palahian?)

15. “Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.”
(Huwag kasi magpa-party sa Malate ‘pag may pasok kinabukasan.)

16. “Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.”
(Telenovela.- Bow. Makuwento siya ha. At sa totoo lang may family history sila ng sakit.)

17. “Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. “
(Panalo! Kung ganito lang kadali magrason.)

18. “My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.”
(Kawawa naman yung anak niya, napagdiskitahan ng Marines.)

19. “Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.”
(Ano ginagawa niya sa ilaim ni Dok?)

20. “Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”
(Iniisip ko kung aling growing part iyon.)

21. “Please excuse my daughter, Cecilia Diaz, for being absent in your class because her sister got sick; her mother cannot attend to her due to the fact that the father went to Manila to call his sister who is a nurse but who was sent to a seminar in Cebu; so the father decided to call his mother but she was on vacation in Antipolo because her granddaughter joined a field trip; finally, the father came home to look for another helper but the helper eloped because her former boyfriend married another.
Thank you very much. Your kind consideration will be highly and deeply solicited.”
(Ayos ‘to, Maayos ang paliwanag.)

English is the universal language but there are things that better said in Filipino.

Carlo H. Andrion
15 Aug 2009


  1. natuwa nman ako dito. =D

  2. Oo nga eh. Nakakaaliw na nakakabaliw.:-)

  3. sana pag nagkaanak ako tulad mo ng principle sa buhay at sana kasing talino mo

  4. Talaga? Hahaa. Salamat po sa pag-appreciate.:)


Leave your mark.