Mabuhay ang Kalalakihan
Gusto ko lamang i-aplay yung natutunan ko sa English 101, Developing a paragraph by example. Pero Asa!!! Di ito paragraph. Marahil kutyain mo ako sa mga mababasa mo, pero site ko ito. Opinyon lamang sila. Pero may ebidensya. Ito na siguro ang isa sa mga less sensible sa mga blogs ko
Ang mga sumusunod ay mga naguugnay at nagbibigay uri sa apat na kasarian ng sangkatauhan. Lalake, babae, bakla, at tomboy. Asaan na sila ngayon? Diskleymer, Hindi ako sexist! Marahil maging isa ako sa kanila pero gusto ko lang ipakita ang mundo natin ngayon. Mundo natin na hindi na napagtutuunan ng pansin – minsan.
Lalake:
1.Papa Jesus (astig ang banat)
2.Santo Papa (Ayan pa!)
3.Superb na Imbentor - Newton, Nobel, Leeuwenhoek, Perry, Faraday, Fleming, etc.
4.Magaling na Pinuno – Lalake ang lahat ng naging president ng Amerika
5.Magaling na Piloto – Wright Bros.
6.Magaling gumawa ng Films – Warner Bros., Steven Spielberg (tsubibo ko lang ang una.)
7.Matalinong Propesor – Morris Schwartz (Yung Morrie sa Tuesdays with Morrie)
8.Author – C.S. Lewis, JRR Tolkien, HG Wells, Chaucer, Shakespeare, O Henry etc.
9.Bayani – Jose, Boni, at Shaw (Biro lang yung huli)
10.Astig na Banda – (Simple Plan, Bamboo, at Linkin Park)
11.Engineer na, Architect pa – Gustave Eiffel
12.Astronaut – Armstrong, Hubble, Gagarin etc.
13.Scientist – Boyle, Tyndall, Einstein
14.Thinker – Darwin, Feud, Marx, Jung, Tung
15.Magaling na Doktor – Hayden Kho :-)
16.Writer – Bob Ong, Eros Atalia, Ricky Lee eyc
17.Business Tycoon – Sy, Robinson, Nepomuceno, Ayala, Gozon, Lopez etc.
18.Sportsman – Phelps, Pacquiao, Reyes, Nepomuceno, Woods, Davis
19.Sundalo – Dewey, Taft, Versoza, Lomibao etc.
20.Driver - Tricycle, jeepney, bus,
21.Kapitan - ship, airplane
22.Photographers
23.Painter – Picasso, Gogh, da Vinci
24.Sculptor - Michelangelo, Raphael
25.Religious Leader – Velarde, Villanueva, at Orbito
26.Composer – Mozart, Debussy, Alcasid
27.Pakana ng kompyuter at pinakamayamang tao – Gates
28.Tagapagmana ng $ 2.1 Billion sa edad na labingwalo - Albert von Thurn und Taxis
29.Masayahin (Humorist) – Chaplin, Bob Hope
30.Magaling na Hosts – Larry King, TVJ
31.Philosopher – Aristotle, Plato
32.Magnanakaw – Robin Hood, at ang mga naunungkit sa kapitbahay para pang-drugs
33.Imbentor at top user ng drugs
34.Hari at prinsipe (di naman obvious)
35.Sinungaling – Mga Trapo sa TV ngayon
36.May pagka-tsismoso – Mo Twister, Raymond Guttierrez, Anjo Yllana, Joey De Leon
37.Bastos – Willie Revilame
38.Sabungero, karerarero, babaero, at tanggero
39.Suki sa pelikula ng Seiko Films (Scorpio Nights)
40. Magaling sa Ispeling (Webster)
Babae :
1.Principal at Titser
2.Nars at taga-pagpaanak, Manghihilot
3.Mambabarang
4.Magaling maglaba at magpalantsa
5.Magaling humawak ng mic. (Magaling kumanta) – Regine, Jaya, Pops
6.Best Actress –
7.Magaling sa uhmmm – KC, Angel, Katrina, Maricar
8.Cover ng mga magazine – Marian, Cristine, Iwa, Maui, Aubrey
9.Masarap magluto
10.Mathematician din – kakaunti pero.
11.Magaling mag-imagine ng di totoo – Rowling, Meyer
12Pauso sa mga siyesta, Madyongera
13. Certified Bungangera
14.Endorser ng napkin – Sarah, Kim, Donita
15.Magaling at seksing VJ – Sanya,
16.Reader ng Precious Hearts Romance at Subscriber ng Fanatext
17.Bumibili ng HP at Twilight Saga pang-display
18.Ekonomista – Arroyo, Condoleezza Rice, W. Monsod
19.Endorser ng sabong panlaba – Susan Roces
20.Magaling buminggo – Kris Aquino
21.Intrigera – Lolit Solis, Cristy Fermin, Ruffa Guttierrez
22.Simbolo ng Demokrasya – Cory Aquino
23.Simbolo ng Kabaitan – Mother Theresa
Bading:
1.Organizer ng Bikini Open, Beauty Pageant, at Mister Pogi
2.Director – (Mubi at concert) – Joel Lamangan, Joey Reyes, Louie Ignacio, Danny Tan
3.Magaling magpaganda, (Parlorista) – Ricky Reyes, Fanny Serrano
4.Mananahi – Rajo Laurel, Pepsi Herrera, Edwin Tan, Renee Salud
5.Costume Designers
6.Masakit sa tenga ang boses – John Lapus, Boy Abunda, Jobert Sulcadito
7.Suki sa Malate, Parokyano sa Avenida at Baclaran, at tambay sa Recto.
8.Masipag mag-add ng gwaping, at nagpo-post ng mga litratong naka-underwear sa multiply
9.Mahilig sa chupa chups (lollipop)
Tomboy:
1.Maporma, may wheels, at suki ng baby bra with supporter pa.
2.Walang social networking sites
3.Laman ng gym.
4.Merong super duper hot and sexy girlfriend.
5.End of the list.
Paano na lang ang buhay kung wala ang mga talong? Bwahahaha. Just for fun. To react is guilty to laugh sets you free.
Adapted by:
Caloy Hernandez for Multiply.com
Some rights reserved: 16 Aug 2009
8/16/2009
8/15/2009
Failed Excuse Letters
This is a collection of genuine excuse letters gathered through the web. These are e-mails, real excuse letters sent by parents, including original spelling and grammatical errors which was collected by schools throughout the Philippines. Read and learn from their mistakes. This is a hilarious way to learn. Brace yourselves and laugh out loud.
1. “My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.”
(O bahala na ang teacher kung paano siya ie-execute. Silya elektrika o firing squad?)
2. “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.”
(Kaya hindi dapat naglalaro ng counter-strike ang matatanda.)
3. “Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.”
(Makaimbento nga ng kalendaryong may 33 days.)
4. “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.”
(Ano daw???? I can’t get it. )
5.”Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”
(Tulungan natin sila, Hanapin natin!)
6. “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.”
(Galing! Nasa mukha niya ang gilagid.)
7. “Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.”
(Baka varicose veins ‘yan? Huwag kasi dapat lumalapit kahit kanino eh.)
8. “Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.”
(Ayos ah, may measurement ang side.)
9. “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.”
(Aaah, eee, iii, ooo, uuu,)
10. “Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre)(dyrea) -(direathe) the shits.” [words in parentheses were crossed out.]
(LBM na nga lang eh. Mas madali pa.)
11.” Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.”
(Never knew na detachable na pala ang dibdib.)
12.” I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I dont know what size she wear.”
(Paano siya magsho-shopping kung iniwan mo siya sa bahay?)
13.” Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.”
(Mabuhay ang Patay! Long-live the dead.)
14. “Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.”
(Ano ba siya palahian?)
15. “Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.”
(Huwag kasi magpa-party sa Malate ‘pag may pasok kinabukasan.)
16. “Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.”
(Telenovela.- Bow. Makuwento siya ha. At sa totoo lang may family history sila ng sakit.)
17. “Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. “
(Panalo! Kung ganito lang kadali magrason.)
18. “My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.”
(Kawawa naman yung anak niya, napagdiskitahan ng Marines.)
19. “Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.”
(Ano ginagawa niya sa ilaim ni Dok?)
20. “Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”
(Iniisip ko kung aling growing part iyon.)
21. “Please excuse my daughter, Cecilia Diaz, for being absent in your class because her sister got sick; her mother cannot attend to her due to the fact that the father went to Manila to call his sister who is a nurse but who was sent to a seminar in Cebu; so the father decided to call his mother but she was on vacation in Antipolo because her granddaughter joined a field trip; finally, the father came home to look for another helper but the helper eloped because her former boyfriend married another.
Thank you very much. Your kind consideration will be highly and deeply solicited.”
(Ayos ‘to, Maayos ang paliwanag.)
English is the universal language but there are things that better said in Filipino.
Adapted:
Carlo H. Andrion
15 Aug 2009
http://caloycoy.blogspot.com
Failed Excuse Letters
This is a collection of genuine excuse letters gathered through the web. These are e-mails, real excuse letters sent by parents, including original spelling and grammatical errors which was collected by schools throughout the Philippines. Read and learn from their mistakes. This is a hilarious way to learn. Brace yourselves and laugh out loud.
1. “My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.”
(O bahala na ang teacher kung paano siya ie-execute. Silya elektrika o firing squad?)
2. “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.”
(Kaya hindi dapat naglalaro ng counter-strike ang matatanda.)
3. “Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.”
(Makaimbento nga ng kalendaryong may 33 days.)
8/09/2009
Published Opinion: Media is Now a Big Business
AS I SEE IT
MEDIA IS NOW A BIG BUSINESS
Carlo H. AndrionHow much time do you consume spending time listening to the radio, watching television, and reading broadsheets? Does it kill your time more than your studying and perhaps your working do? Do you believe of what the media teach more than you parents had to say?
Nowadays, media (i.e. television, radios, newspapers, tabloids, magazines, and the powerful internet) plays a big role in polishing and honing the public especially the young minds. The media offers twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week in broadcasting and airing information you should need to know and the need-not ones. They have been your favorite entertainers, teachers, and worse your bible. From cartoons for the children, educational programs for the school-ers, teen-oriented shows, reality television, fantasy shows, sci-fi, crime stories, love stories, talk shows, news, and even to those Rated-18 shows. A myriad of entertainment genre has now been available at the click of a remote. Media is everywhere. From the streets, busses and trains, schools, at home, work sphere, and even in wireless communication. All are now being controlled by the media. They keep us in touch with the international and local world. Media was being patronized and prioritized now.
In the seventy’s Philippines, the government’s media inhibition led to finally overthrow the overstaying, unconstitutional, and the overpowered government. That was not an overnight suffering and struggle for the media to broadcast the real score and status of the Philippines that time. The overpowered government took lives of the hundreds of opposing media men and had been controlling the information circulation for a long time. Though media was imbibing the consequences of having a democracy-squandered government, they are being so helpful in that scenario. Delving deeper, how did the media inhibition move the democracy-famished populace? Somehow, because media was the last resort and refuge of the savagery-stricken Filipinos that time, they were finally pissed off which led the peaceful revolution. Whatever commotion and ruckus may arise, it was a total proof how people has been fascinated with the media. They are clinging to it considering their personal beliefs associated with the media. And what is next for the Philippines? We are still clinging to the media hypes and scheme. All illogical things make happen with the power publicity.
In the U.S., the media utilizes gruesome and gory crime stories because that is the stuff that people are more likely to buy. They don’t nurture the viewers with public awareness. Portion that induces rational thinking. They don’t serve them pieces that influences and encourages people to talk or even to raise a question. Questions that may have been beneficial to the viewers seeing the rudiments of relationship between power, rank, and eminence but never had a break to ask. And surprisingly, those identical media manner has now been conquering the Philippine primetime television. I may not need to name those, but to give you a hint, switch your channel to 23. It’s the channel that accommodates imports that Pinoy shows have been succumbing for. From dawn to midnight you are bombarded with unnumbered foreign-made viewing. And to count Pinoy-made, you can have it in your hands.
Hitherto, Philippine media is still having the compact moral standards – somehow anyhow. The Philippine Government and the Mass Media has been somehow threatened by each other. Having a shame and preempted by each other in their unconscious custom. Fear of being deprived in any sense, in any way, and reserves tacit feats. If they ram with each other, they just pause a little and then recedes. In the zenith of their juxtaposition of who influences the general public more and worse, I will presume that the media disturbs us more.
In communal setting, the media poisons the viewers’ characters somehow if the media obstruct the right thinking. It was sordidly conceptualized that some things which shall be delicately deliberated was brought into mainstream for money-making. Innumerable bad implications of media conquering were the monopolizing of the media man’s opinion into airwaves. A mogul trying to insist personal beliefs, and opinions to the public labeling it as ‘righteous’. The media hype has now been characterized by the teenage girls’ fascination to superficiality through flirty magazines who serves as their bible and boys who are getting hooked on sexy mags, and films that heightens the breadth and width of their pervert ego. It is now converting the must-treasure conventionality of the early Filipinos into a belligerent and malicious environment. Changing and resetting the norms and creating new fads and shoddier crazes. Relevance has now been being modified, not from the righteous customs but on the eye of the blinded masses.
If I have to reckon the media with, they are powerful. They are influential, commanding, authoritative, controlling, prevailing, dominant, potent, great, mighty, formidable, weighty, mighty, muscular, brawny, sturdy, forceful, hard, violent, robust, formidable, crushing, vigorous, and sinewy. All strong adjectives that may describe them belong to them. But only one adjective prevails elsewhere in the media, they are co-existent with the civilization. They are forever – If we will assume. Thus they are continuing on creating changes, and shiftiness on the relativity of man’s nature to adapt. They give an instant attention. Turning and giving a makeover to some untalented individuals to shine and leaving nothing for the deserving. Reaping the labors form the one who shall have it. They are merely exaggerating if not saying the right. Whatever is 'hot' they seize for it just for the sake of gaining exclusive advertising contracts and any means of profiting. Money-making is their business, and serving the viewers with the right programming is just an option.
Somewhere along the line, I still believe. That someday the mass media will feed me nutritious and not destructive nourishment for my insurmountable famine of curiosity. I highly commend the radical forms of media anyhow who kills the fashion that I have been describing before. Blasphemers as others may foresee, but they have my utmost entrustment. I am still getting rewarded seeing other people killing the fashion. The fashion that almost everyone are getting in to. Media is everywhere, thus their threats will tolerate in the air. Somehow, somewhere along this timeline I still want consider that there are still worthy bunch of meticulous mankind ready to scrutinize what goes and comes around. Of what to take up, swallow in, and digest through. Poison is a poison whenever they’ll put it and we will never know if it is, unless we are ceased.
***
Intellectual Property Rights Reserved:
Carlo Andrion y Hernandez
9 Aug. 2009
http://caloycoy.blogspot.com
Media Is Now a Big Business
How much time do you consume spending time listening to the radio, watching television, and reading broadsheets? Does it kill your time more than your studying and perhaps your working do? Do you believe of what the media teach more than you parents had to say?
Nowadays, media (i.e. television, radios, newspapers, tabloids, magazines, and the powerful internet) plays a big role in polishing and honing the public especially the young minds. The media offers twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week in broadcasting and airing information you should need to know and the need-not ones. They have been your favorite entertainers, teachers, and worse your bible. From cartoons for the children, educational programs for the school-ers, teen-oriented shows, reality television, fantasy shows, sci-fi, crime stories, love stories, talk shows, news, and even to those Rated-18 shows. A myriad of entertainment genre has now been available at the click of a remote. Media is everywhere. From the streets, busses and trains, schools, at home, work sphere, and even in wireless communication. All are now being controlled by the media. They keep us in touch with the international and local world. Media was being patronized and prioritized now.
Desideratum: Bagay na Dapat Gawin
Desideratum: Mga Bagay na Dapat Gawin
Sa tapat ng CSC (College Student Council) Office, nakaupo ako, mag-isa. Hawak ang cellphone, nagba-browse sa dictionary. Kailangang kumain bago sumabak sa giyera.
Ryan: “Pasok ka na nagsimula na ang screening!”
Ako: “Hindi naman ako sasali eh.” Pagsisinungaling ko.
Ryan: “Basta pasok ka na lang daw kapag sasali ka na.”
Ako: ***Di ako nakatiis. Pumasok din ako nang makaalis siya.
Pumasok ako sa CSC Office kung saan gaganapin ang screening. Sanamabits Ang lamig. Parang di yata ako makakapag-isip ng maayos. Then the journey continuous. (Nagsimula ng tumugtog ang Super Mario Theme)
8/06/2009
Sa Paglipad ng Maya
Biyernes, ala-syete ng umaga, nagising ako sa dahil sa alarm at sa mga huni ng maya na kumakatok sa bintanang salamin ng aking kwarto. Masakit ang buong katawan, ikaw ba naman ang matulog ng alas-kwatro ng umaga dahil lamang sa pesteng plano ng bahay na yan. Agad akong bumangon. Noon ko na naman naisip na kahit patay katawan ka, kaya mong bumangon basta bukas ang isip mo sa responsibilidad na haharapin mo. Lumabas ako sa asotea, (terrace). Dinama ang sinag ng makulimlim na umaga. Tumingala, iniunat ang braso at binuksan ang mga palad. Iniisip kong yakap ko ang Diyos at sabay nagpasalamat dahil sa panibagong simula sa piling ng mahal kong pamilya.
Ayos! Nakuha ko na ang momentum para simulan ang bagong pahina ng buhay. Naligo, kumain, dumating sa pamantasan bago mag-ikawalo. “Ayos! Maipapasa ko na rin.” Iyan ang naisambit ko dahil umabot sa due date ang bunga ng sakripisyo. Bonus na kapag pinuri pa ito.
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