“Life is really unfair. You can't have what you want. You only get what you deserved. And when the time comes that you have to get the one that you once wanted, it is not the one that you want anymore.”
Early this day, I made my way to the university. I would had have gotten my grades in my major subject, of which, worth of the 6 subjects with 3 units each for the following semester, but to no avail my Professor wasn't there. There are a lot of incoming freshmen in the college. They almost occupied the corridors.
I went there alone. Though I had have hoped that I might have seen my classmates in our favorite classroom. Also, they weren't there. And so I roam around the Engineering building. (I am an incoming 4th year Civil Engineering fiend at 19) . God, how I felt so lonesome. And the laugh of the people who pass by worsens the loneliness I have to bear with. God, how I wish I had have not gone to that goddamn school. I may be sleeping then till noon and not to bear the emptiness I still had have the preceding day. At least I am at ease while sleeping.
I made my hell out from that depressing school. It was noon when I got to the bus stop. From there I would have to ride an air-conditioned bus. Thirty minutes of waiting weren't spent to naught. I rode my bus. As I have been always doing, I took the last row of the seats at the back just after a man of 60's and a boy of I guess 5. I hate eavesdropping but I can't defy the thing that I used to hear with from them. I was dumbfounded at that time and stuck in listening from a granddad-to-grandson conversation.
I rarely see such pair of travelers like that. It would normally a man and a woman or an immediate family. But what surprised me most was,
Grandson: "Lolo (Grandpa) have you ever been in love?"
Granddad: "Why you're asking like that?"
Grandson: "Nothing. I just heard it from TV last night."
Granddad: "I've been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now.”
Grandson: "Really?! Is that Grandma?"
Granddad: "Of Course. I love your grandma. That’s why I married her. But you know Apo (grandson), a man should love recklessly. We should love everybody, everyone."
Grandson: "And how was that?"
Granddad: "I wish she knew."
God, how great that granddad is. That is awfully emo. To a child, that statement comes to no malice. But for me, I have understood more. What's in his heart? I don't know but that love must be something great. It is ever-encompassing. Fifty years of love's existence but your beloved had haven't it known yet? A tragic story for an epilogue to an old man.
My loneliness, emptiness and the other entire negative '-ness' that I had have ever felt seemed so blown away. I thought my situation was the worst. Never did I know that something has to bear a worse feeling than the worst that I am feeling. Life is really unfair. You can't have what you want. You only get what you deserved. And when the time comes that you have to get the one that you once wanted, it is not the one that you want anymore. So ironic and sick. Yet we have to live with those awful rules.
And so the time came for me to leave and alight from the bus. I may not know that pair of boys aboard who astonished my sensibility, I may not know their names, their address, their favorite viand, what they really look like, nor when they cry themselves, I may not know their anatomy, but I had have known them than anyone who is in their family. I had have known them from their heart.
P.S. Ever thought how I was able to get their conversation? I had have jotted it down through my notepad. And that was just a part.#