Suicide Letter of an Agnostic

Suicide Letter of an Agnostic

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Dear Humanity, three years ago, I was stuck with the feud between religions. One said that they are the divine light. Then the second said that he was the prophet and that God has made him as instrument for the people on the earth to believe and worship him! Others just simply said that they were the messiah. And that their religion is the truest of all. I was static at that time. My faith has been bombarded with many lies! One would tell me to do that! Not to do this and everything that they might wish me to do. I was a kind of big dummy that time. At that very moment, I never realized that I was selling my freedom, my pursuit for happiness, and my life. Now, I am tired to be a victim of all that fallacies. I want to revolutionize the situation --- now. Here is a man writing his last letter. The last collective ideas of his own. Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

Last night was my wonderful moment. My family had left me because of religion. My friends despised me because I wasn’t like them: religious and full of kindness as they may say. People loathe me because of my non-conformist belief! I guess this is the payment for what my freedom to decide what I want to believe. Though the pangs of angst had just hit me, I tried to be strong. Then the situation kindled my little faith. The world had just turned their backs on me.

I remember the little good things I have contributed for humanity. Those acts never required me to be a part of any clergy nor a laity congregation. And I guess that was the essential thing that the world has just forgotten: Doing little things without any label. But before you leap into a conclusion let me clarify things for you to fathom the worsening situation. I believe In God! With no hypocrisy, no rules, no manipulation, and no hesitations. I am just tired of what the arduous situation of the religion has brought me up. It’s unhealthy and it is a hideous idea not to spare your self from that. And now I am giving up to the system. Again, nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

Dear God, I was wrong believing that your existence is not provable: my sincerest apology. I am only but a human. Perfectly imperfect. If Catholics were right and that their religion is the right one, apology for leaving out its portals. If by fate that Buddhism is the gateway to Nirvana, sorry for not going into its side. If Hinduism was the sole religion, I regretted that I never recognized it. If Allah was the King of heavens, sorry because I never went to Mecca. And if by chance of serendipitous events, that Christians own the exact religion, forgive me for not joining them. But not ever that I would surrender the chance that if no one of those is the right religion, then this letter shall be read by humans so that they will know the truth.

Lord, my unknown lord. My lord whom I have never seen but saw me a million of million times, I offer you my soul oozing with sins, doubts, and lies. Yes! I am an Agnostic. A man who believes that religion is a manipulation, morality is man-made, and God is amoral. A man who deems that there's only one gender; human, one race; mankind, and one nation; the world. Isn’t it a nice precept? Now, it’s time to end this blasphemy. Forgive me and forbid anything that may happen worse than this. The moment to kill the Agnostic has just arrived.

P.S. I have a family no more. My friends left me alone in solitude. Whoever will read this letter, kindly send this to God and I repent with all these sins.

Sincerely,

The Agnostic

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Original Fiction by Carlo H. Andrion